Mask or Menace IC contact

[crassidy]

"Probably out gettin' shit faced! I'll get back to yez."

Comments

[crassidy]

and i love owing them tbh. never no wat u'll get. could be buryng a body or a cheeky bj or liek the most complicated shite ever. hard to tell w u

[youresovein]

Oh, would a cheeky BJ be on the hypothetical table?

[crassidy]

hypotheticly. in exchange fr a sparkly jacket i think its a fair trade m8 do u not

[youresovein]

Forgive me if I sounded skeptical! I appreciate a man who understands the value of a good statement piece.

[crassidy]

its a nice jacket so it is. u got a whole wardobe liek tht? id sure like to see it

[youresovein]

Yes! Thank you for asking! Come over and try on my things. We can put it on the internet!

Will you come midnight shopping with me, too?

[crassidy]

lmao noice
u cant do daytime shoppin like normal folk? m8 thrifts aint normaly open late

[youresovein]

Obviously we let ourselves in.

Wait, what do you mean, like normal people?

[crassidy]

oh yeh duh
and i mean like evryone else. christ m8 the sun is a right bloody bastard but get urself an umbrela right?

[youresovein]

No no no. You can't be serious. Tell me you're not serious.

This is a not-very-funny joke, right?

[crassidy]

idk wats funny bout it

[youresovein]

Pardon my French, but a FUCKING UMBRELLA?

[crassidy]

yeah??? its not fekcin fool proof but get urself enough cover and shade an ur good to go. duh. have u srsly not tried that??

[youresovein]

This is completely unfair! You're a shampire, that's what you are!

The only way I can go into the sun is if I'm enough of a fool to get stuck outside. At dawn, I'm quite literally dead to the world.

[crassidy]

wat do u mean?? ded 2 the world?! liek literally???

[youresovein]

Very nearly. A long silent sleep I can't wake from as long as the sun is in the sky.

You mean to tell me you can really walk around during the day? Just like that?

[crassidy]

lol its called sleep, that just sounds like me mmost mondays
an no not 'just like that'. m8 that shite literaly burns me alive

[youresovein]

I know what sleep is; it's the thing I do during infomercials.

Yes, but an umbrella! God, if that was all it took...

[crassidy]

i mean its bettr than nothing yeh. so u just in a daily coma evry sun rise??

[youresovein]

You make it sound so glamorous. Yes, minus breathing.

[crassidy]

lol srry but thsts kind of hilarious. shite ive had days like that wherr u just wake up the next night w dicks drawn on ur face and no clue whdre u r
ever woekn up in a morgue??

[youresovein]

No dicks so far, but the future is infinite.

No, why, have you?

[crassidy]

so many times. it's not as fun as it sounds tbh. altho scarng some of the orderlies can be feckin hilarious

[youresovein]

Yours is a fascinating life, my friend.

But you don't, for example, find yourself overcome with the urge to bury yourself underground if you're caught outside when the sun starts to rise?

[crassidy]

bury myself?? christ no cause im not some sorta mole man
i just find shade