Mask or Menace IC contact

[crassidy]

"Probably out gettin' shit faced! I'll get back to yez."

Comments

[crassidy]

Probably best, think I overdid it with the paint stripper. [Half mumbled to himself as he screws the cap back on and tucks it away safely within his jacket ones more. His eyes are already wandering, barely settled like he's only half listening.]

Right then. Well. Hm, I'm Cassidy, a Sagittarius from Dublin City, I like long night walks on the beach, fine whiskey and decade old clichés. I got shite all experience in law unless you count bein' on the wrong side of it, because mate, I've been arrested a lot, but I do really need the money, like,so that's why I'm here.

[notgood]

[He blanches at the thought of drinking actual paint stripper, because he genuinely isn't sure if he'd tell a joke like that...]

And you didn't keep the job the government gave you because...?

[crassidy]

Forgot to show up for it.

[Said with a shrug like it's a totally reasonable explanation.]

They had me as an overnight trucker, which don't get me wrong, is a great way to avoid the sun, right, but I didn't need a million more DUIs against me when I got a clean record in this world.

[notgood]

[A great follow up question would be to ask if he plans on forgetting to show up for this job, but-]

I noticed the umbrella, and now you mention avoiding the sun...

[He doesn't want to say vampire. He doesn't want to think vampire-]

[crassidy]

[He nods knowingly, leaning in to share the big secret of:]

Skin cancer.

[And then leaning back, crossing his legs as he casually offers up the other option.]

Or vampire. I mean, really, take your pick, man.

1/2

[notgood]

["Skin cancer."]

2/3

[notgood]

["Vampire."]

3/3

[notgood]

[He's out of his chair and standing up suddenly-]

You're a vampire? Really?

[crassidy]

[He blinks rapidly, attention finally locked on Chauncy, while staying unmoving for the moment. The guy looks startled enough with any more sudden movements added into the mix.]

Now hold on, mate, you had two options there. You're the one jumpin' to conclusions.

[Beat.] What's wrong with vampires...?

[It's cool, he's used to being hated. :(]

[notgood]

Yes, I'm jumping to conclusions-

[Literally, in this case.]

And someone who actually has skin cancer would have said by now they were kidding, not asked me what's wrong with vampires.

[So therefore, vampire.]

I've had an experience before. It left a lasting impression of your kind.

[crassidy]

Oh, here we go.

[An irritated eye roll.]

"Your kind". Blanket statements and sweepin' generalisations. What next, yah racist gobshite? We all look alike?

[notgood]

[Being called racist by a vampire is not what he thought would happen today.]

No you don't- look entirely like them, no...

[He hesitates, but... slowly, returns to his chair.]

You do drink blood, don't you?

[crassidy]

[He sniffs indignantly just to ensure he's playing the role of offended party.]

Mostly blood bags, yeah. Animal otherwise. I don't go around murderin' folk, if that's what you're really askin'. Not unless they deserve it anyways, heh.

[notgood]

[He's playing it well, even if Chauncy has an inkling he's not nearly as offended as he's acting.]

The concept of deserving it isn't a matter for your personal judgement.

[Chauncy sits now back in his seat fully, hands on his desk and fingers laced.]

That's what this office represents. We respect the law here, and we operate within it.

I might be willing to overlook your... nature and inclinations, but not without some give on your end as well.

[crassidy]

Uh-huh.

[With a finger tapping at his lips thoughtfully, Cassidy looks like he's giving heavy consideration to Chauncy's words. And yet...]

Soooo, just let you fellas know if I give someone a good suckin', is what you're sayin'?

[notgood]

[Cassidy, no.]

That's the opposite of what I'm saying. I'm saying don't do it at all.

[crassidy]

Right. 'Course.

[He nods his understanding even if the look on his face is anything but.]

And just to clarify, we're talkin' about murder and not blow jobs here, right?

[notgood]

[Chauncy sits up straight and leans in further over the desk.]

You want me to lay it all out? Fine.

I am saying you will not murder anyone under my employment, unless it is in very obvious self-defense. If you do drugs other than legal and prescribed ones, it will not be in this office, or within a hundred feet of it. I am already trying to clean up our image, and the last thing I want is more work to do. You can give as many blowjobs as you want, as long as they don't break the law. You can wear ... that sort of clothing, as long as it's clean and you don't smell. You can keep blood packets here, and even keep your flask, as long as you don't drink in front of clients.

If that doesn't work for you, then this isn't going to work at all. You choose.

[crassidy]

[That lean forward is mirrored, elbows onto his knees as he arches an eyebrow.]

You sayin' I meet all that and you'll pay me money?

[notgood]

I'm saying you do all that, along with your job, and you will be paid money.

[And money can be exchanged for goods and services, Cassidy.]

[crassidy]

[Important goods and services like booze and strippers!]

And what actually is the job you're expectin' me to do?

[notgood]

It's secretary work. Answer the phone. Take notes. Schedule clients and let me know when they're here.

[crassidy]

Oh, right you are. Excellent time keeper, me. [Says the guy who was 10mins late.] Quite the skilled note taker too. [Says the guy who can barely type literate text speech.] I'm the perfect man for the job, don't you worry.

[notgood]

[Which he's aware of, but he already knocked Cassidy's potential salary down to 43k instead of what would be appropriate, so he figures he can get away with paying him even less if he fucks up enough. It's an asshole move, but he doesn't expect quality work from Cassidy, but hopes he can get enough of it done that it won't matter...]

...I'll need to talk to David, to let him know you're a vampire. He has the same reservations I do. Also I'll need some of your blood.

[Which Cassidy can assume is for a blood test.]

[crassidy]

[Honestly, tell Cass whatever wage you want, he'll have probably forgotten about it within a few days anyway.]

I thought I was the vampire here, mate. You should be givin' me blood.