Mask or Menace IC contact

[crassidy]

"Probably out gettin' shit faced! I'll get back to yez."

Comments

[notgood]

[Chauncy winces mid-sip, and squints at Cassidy with a slightly revolting look.]

I don't want to know that.

[crassidy]

Honestly, mate, neither did I but here I am, with that image burnt into me bloody skull for all eternity. I'm tellin' ya, it's not the kind of sight you ever forget. Skin tight latex on a fella with a dad bod, and he's 'sposed to be the one who formed all creation. Jaysus, no wonder humans are so screwed up as a species, eh?

[Despite his apparent trauma, he's snickering into his glass as he finishes off the last half in a few gulps. Doesn't take much to entertain Cassidy, and furry dog gods is one such thing apparently.]

[notgood]

Stop, stop-

[He's holding up a hand, as if trying to literally halt Cassidy's words from hitting his ears.]

I brought this up so I could be honest about who I am to you, not so I can hear about your- close encounters of the filth kind. I don't need to suffer like this.

[crassidy]

And I'm just bein' honest about the shite I've seen in me lifetime. We all got things to share.

[You're giving this person a job, Chauncy, you have to live with this decision every day of your working life now as he discusses latex dog suits and circumcisions all day every day.]

[notgood]

So what you're saying is if I don't share anything, you won't either?

[Please let that be what he's saying.]

[crassidy]

No! Nope. This ain't a chance for you to close up, mate, I only just got you talkin'. You owe me your vampire tale one of these days, I know there's a story behind all that.

[Never gonna let Chauncy live down his vampire racism.]

[notgood]

It involves me drinking, making poor choices, and almost dying for it. A good enough summary?

[crassidy]

Sounds legit enough. Drinkin' and poor life choices go hand in hand with vampires in me own experience.

[At least in Cassidy's case.]

[notgood]

I'd rather not recount the tale in detail. It's embarrassing enough as it stands.

[crassidy]

Heh, fair enough. I got plenty of them sorta tales I'd rather not relive. So long as this little "poor life choice" of yours from the past won't be an issue between us.

[notgood]

No, my... bias is my own fault, but I still think I'm going to have to make by decisions on a vampire-by-vampire basis. Obviously, being hired means you pass.

[crassidy]

Very grown up of you. Y'know, I know a few vampires 'round here and they're all grand fellas, honestly just who you know, eh? Arseholes in every group of folk.

[notgood]

I tend to see more assholes than not.

2/4

[notgood]

3/4

[notgood]

4/4

[notgood]

Because I'm an attorney- and-

[yeah there's no saving this from the jokes.]

[crassidy]

[He grins as he waits for that moment of realisation.]

Right, 'cause of the lawyerin'. Real smooth save there, boss man.

[notgood]

Let's just not tell anyone about that slip up. I'm better at speaking in a court room...

[crassidy]

I should hope so. I don't wanna be tellin' clients about the amount of arseholes you've looked at, that's TMI even by my standards.

[notgood]

...Thank you, Cassidy.

[crassidy]

No trouble, there, mate, we colleagues gotta stick together. 'Course, if I don't get the job, I'll be free to tell everyone 'bout your arsehole viewing.

[notgood]

Extortion is a criminal offense.

[crassidy]

What's that? Is that some weird shite you do with them? Honestly mate, I don't need to know the details.

[Because extortion is some kind of sex act, right? Totally.]

[notgood]

You- you're joking.

[crassidy]

Yeah. ... No. ... About which bit?