Mask or Menace IC contact

[crassidy]

"Probably out gettin' shit faced! I'll get back to yez."

Comments

[notgood]

...Thank you, Cassidy.

[crassidy]

No trouble, there, mate, we colleagues gotta stick together. 'Course, if I don't get the job, I'll be free to tell everyone 'bout your arsehole viewing.

[notgood]

Extortion is a criminal offense.

[crassidy]

What's that? Is that some weird shite you do with them? Honestly mate, I don't need to know the details.

[Because extortion is some kind of sex act, right? Totally.]

[notgood]

You- you're joking.

[crassidy]

Yeah. ... No. ... About which bit?

[notgood]

Not knowing what extortion is.

[crassidy]

Oh. Right, pfft, course I do.

[He waves a hand dismissively, hesitates and then takes a shot at it.]

It's that, uh, bendy thing people do.

1/2

[notgood]

[notgood]

That's contortion.

[crassidy]

Right. Exactly. [Cassidy's looking at Chauncy like he's the idiot.]

Same difference.

nice bowtie

[notgood]

Very different. Extortion is about blackmail. Contortion is about being about to-

[Suck your own dick- no, wait, say anything except that-]

Twist... a lot.

thank u its very fancy

[crassidy]

[Sucking dick is the mental image Cass has got anyway, sorry.]

You could extort a contort. Extortionist a contortionist.

[notgood]

You could, but it wouldn't apply to me.

[crassidy]

You sure? We musta been talkin' about contortionists for some reason and it definitely wasn't me. I'm just not that flexible.

[notgood]

You've been fucking with me, haven't you?

[crassidy]

Me? Nah, mate, I don't do shite like that.

[Yes, he would. He did. He do.]

[notgood]

[Chauncy stares hard at Cassidy, squinting a little, as if trying to gauge him.]

You absolutely do.

[crassidy]

[He can't even help the slowly spreading, toothy grin.]

Huh, maybe I do then. You got me there, fella.

[notgood]

Points for trying.

You never told me your first name, either.

[crassidy]

I'll tell ya on the condition y'never use it.

[notgood]

Unless I'm very serious and need to use your full name to get your attention.

[crassidy]

Me mam used to pull that shite. Over a hundred years ago.

[Beat.]

Proinsias. But I ain't used it since I got the boat over here.

[notgood]

Proinsias.

[Wow, that's an old name. Hundred years ago, huh?]

I promise to not use it unless I really need to.

[crassidy]

Be sure you don't. I may be a bloody pussy cat compared to the vampires you know, but I still got teeth.

[Teeth he will use if his name is uttered!

But actually he really doesn't give much of a shit.]