Mask or Menace IC contact

[crassidy]

"Probably out gettin' shit faced! I'll get back to yez."

Comments

nice bowtie

[notgood]

Very different. Extortion is about blackmail. Contortion is about being about to-

[Suck your own dick- no, wait, say anything except that-]

Twist... a lot.

thank u its very fancy

[crassidy]

[Sucking dick is the mental image Cass has got anyway, sorry.]

You could extort a contort. Extortionist a contortionist.

[notgood]

You could, but it wouldn't apply to me.

[crassidy]

You sure? We musta been talkin' about contortionists for some reason and it definitely wasn't me. I'm just not that flexible.

[notgood]

You've been fucking with me, haven't you?

[crassidy]

Me? Nah, mate, I don't do shite like that.

[Yes, he would. He did. He do.]

[notgood]

[Chauncy stares hard at Cassidy, squinting a little, as if trying to gauge him.]

You absolutely do.

[crassidy]

[He can't even help the slowly spreading, toothy grin.]

Huh, maybe I do then. You got me there, fella.

[notgood]

Points for trying.

You never told me your first name, either.

[crassidy]

I'll tell ya on the condition y'never use it.

[notgood]

Unless I'm very serious and need to use your full name to get your attention.

[crassidy]

Me mam used to pull that shite. Over a hundred years ago.

[Beat.]

Proinsias. But I ain't used it since I got the boat over here.

[notgood]

Proinsias.

[Wow, that's an old name. Hundred years ago, huh?]

I promise to not use it unless I really need to.

[crassidy]

Be sure you don't. I may be a bloody pussy cat compared to the vampires you know, but I still got teeth.

[Teeth he will use if his name is uttered!

But actually he really doesn't give much of a shit.]

[notgood]

Are you threatening to bite me, during our interview, if I call you by your first name?

[crassidy]

Yeah. That sounds about the length of it.

[notgood]

Not really concerned with falling under vampire stereotypes, are you?

[crassidy]

Mate, as far as stereotypes go, I think I'm pretty low on the "usual vampire" rankin'. I'm allowed to have "biting" as one of my things.

[notgood]

Accent, threats of biting, umbrella, fondness for drinking, sunglasses...

[Nevermind that two of those things are more about protecting oneself from the sun.]

All your missing is a bit of black clothes and I could see you on the set of Lost Boys.

[crassidy]

Don't even get me started on Lost Boys! They basically stole me entire bleedin' look and I never saw a single feckin' penny of royalties.

[notgood]

I don't believe there's a copyright on wearing dirty, torn clothes.

[crassidy]

There should be. I know they copied me and I gotta live with that for eternity, unlike the blood writers of that film. Think I got a chance at suin' the Count Chocula folks?

[notgood]

You have zero chance of suing Count Chocula.

[crassidy]

What if I knew the fella who made 'em? And you can clearly see the resemblance!

[notgood]

And if they have a disclaimer anywhere in their paperwork that says anything along the lines of any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental in their copyright, you're out of luck.